So many titles...You're not always the "Window Boss"

You know I had so many titles to choose from for this blog....It could have been WTHF (What the hell Florida??) It could have been "Who Just Touched My Face?" It could have been "Children should have their own separate airline..." I could come up with several more after my trip home today from Pensacola, Florida (business trip) where um hello?? It was freezing to death and I packed warm Costa Rica clothes... I mean what the  h  e  double hockey sticks Florida??

So I just flew back into Costa Rica and I must say that 3 1/2 hours on a plane with 4 toddlers, (2 screaming twins), a crying infant, and the woman next to me actually using the "barf bag" (first time I ever saw anyone use one!) was quite relaxing and enjoyable....just like the time I broke my arm.

So I arrived at the airport at 4:00 this morning so I could go through security and get to the gate an hour and 45 minutes before boarding time (since they say "be here 2 hours early") and just sit there freezing in Antarctic Florida. Finally I got on the plane and propped my head up with my stuffed turtle I always take with me when I travel. It was a gift from my husband, and I actually fell asleep... which is rare for me because I absolutely cannot sleep on public transportation because I'm always afraid  someone will steal my stuff. Anyway I was holding the turtle up to the window beside my head with my hand and I had pulled my headband down over my eyes...and I dozed off...and then I felt someone TOUCHING MY FREAKING FACE!!! I woke up and realized what what was happening and that there was a hand on my face and I sat up and ripped the headband off my eyes and while looking around said, "Who just touched my face?!!"...the lady next to me and her husband both looked at me freaked out like I was crazy or something?? Well I sat there for a minute looking around trying to figure out if I had been dreaming or what, and I realized MY hand had slid from the turtle when I fell asleep and fallen onto the side of my face. So yeah, I was touching my own face and acted like a maniac about it.

Well while I had "dozed off" into Paranoia Land, someone had reached over and shut the airplane blind....um excuse me, but I thought the person in the "window seat" was the "Window Boss". So the lady next to me was sniffling and seemed sick so I decided to be nice and leave the window down...the whole first 3 hours and 20 minutes...but the last 10 were mine baby. I jerked that blind up and prepared to watch the mountains as we were flying into Costa Rica. I was so enthralled in the mountain view that I didn't even notice the woman beside me with the barf bag up to her mouth. At first I thought she was hyperventilating until some vomit splashed out of the bag...yeah I know, hyperventilating was a better scenario for me too. So I jerked the window shade back down so fast the wing nearly fell off my side of the airplane and I said, "I'm so sorry, you should have told me and I would have closed the window." She was really nice and said, "That's ok, it always happens." By this time she had filled up her bag so I dug out mine from the seat back in front of me and gave it to her. She finally stopped vomiting and all the kids start back crying and screaming. (I felt like I was in a nightmare and I was just waiting for the oxygen masks to drop down from above).- I said, "Man, little kids need their own separate airline so they can all play and cry together..." She just kind of looked at me and then said, "I'm a kindergarten teacher." I wanted to say, "And.........know you still hear all that damn hollering." But I kept the redneck inside of me and said, "Oh. I'm a dog person :)" and kept my mouth shut til I got out of the airport. Now it's time to unpack and rest.  I'm too tired to proofread this so forgive the mistakes...or don't. I don't care. Until next time my 4 faithful readers :)

Worst "Blogger" in the world.

I couldn't even be called a "blogger" as rarely as I do it. I just passed a homeless woman here in downtown San Jose. She was probably 80 years old, sitting on the side of the street. I watched her as she trapped a piece of paper under her feet and struggled to pick it up. I thought it was a dollar as hard as she was struggling to lift it to her hand with her feet. After numerous attemtpts I turned around and walked back to her. I picked up the "dollar" but it was only a scrap of paper. I don't know if she knew it was just a piece of litter and was trying to clean it up, or had thought it was money. Either way, when she smiled at me with her toothless smile my heart broke into a million pieces.  I'm in the middle of paychecks and I'll admit things are tight. I searched the house for change to take the bus here just to walk a round and have something to do. I also scraped up enough to by some candy (don't feel sorry for me) while I was here...but I gave all my change to the homeless woman. Then I came here to the park to "blog" and people-watch and listen to Ani Difranco. People-watching is hard to do when everyone is watching you. I'm reminded again that even though I've been here  2 years and 9 months I still stick out like a nun in a bar doing shots of tequila. There's a freak sitting across from me (well laying on the ground) with white contacts in his eyes. He and I seem to be the "attractions" of the park today.  (I'll admit, my mohawk and dress with Nikes don't help me blend in.)

I want to write and be all deep and insightful but I guess I'm too private a person for all that jazz... So I'll try to be a little insightful and share some things I've learned here in Costa Rica:

- roosters crow all the freaking time, not just when the sun comes up
- parrots can fly when they are not locked in a cage and it is a truly beautiful site
- if you shake an egg and it moves arond inside and makes noise then it's bad
- if yu have light hair/eyes/eyebrows, people will call you "macha" or "machita" no matter what your name is and you will be overcharged whether it's for food, water, or clothes...or eggs (hence the Gringa Price)
- chickens sleep in trees
- showers in cold water cause bad moods (for me)
- making a living in Costa Rica is hard
- seeing the mountains never gets old
- landlords can legally raise your rent 10% every year (although mine raised mine 30% last year)

Man I feel sorry for the dude with the white contacts. He looks like maybe he's coming down off some drugs and doesn't know where he is. If he would keep his tongue in his mouth and stop talking to himeself then people might not stare at him so much...and if he got up off the ground and took out the white warefolf contacts...and all that guyliner.

I'll leave you with some lyrics of Ani Difranco:
"I'm in the middle of Alabama and they stare at me where ever I go. I don't think they like my haircut, I don't think they like my clothes. I can't wait to get back to New York City, where at least when I walk down the street, no one ever hesitates...to tell me exactly what they think of me..."

Hey the white contact guy just sat up and he's picking his nose! He's definately attracting  more attention than me  today =)

I'm outy...til next time.